A Predicament
Those of you who read this blog regularly know that I coach a youth running group. I need your help with some suggestions regarding an athlete. Here's the situation:
A young girl on the team is having trouble racing, that may even be the wrong way to describe it. I've found out that that she came to the team because of self-confidence issues. She's a twin, and her sister is the dominant one. The result is that she seems to have a psyche that is brittle. It seems to take very little to rattle her confidence. Further adding to her problem is the fact that in attempting to be social, she often walks in practice, reducing her effective training and diminishing her prospects of running well in a race.
Her sister is apparently a pretty good athlete, so I think with training, she can be, too. The problem is that if she doesn't train well, she starts a cycle of greater discomfort in the race, racing badly, and loss of self-confidence as a result.
My thought is to send her a note by e-mail through her parents. I've had this OK'ed by her parents, and here's my note, as it stands now:
(her name),
You've gone through your first season of running. I hope you've enjoyed it. I've seen you laugh and cry, but hope that it was more fun than not. You've probably gotten some inkling what running competitively is about. I hope you continue to pursue your running with joy and passion.
Like school, running is very much about training. In school, to do well on tests, you must do your homework and pay attention in class. In running, training is like class. You are teaching your body to do what you ask of it. If you don't work hard at your training, doing the things that the coaches ask, then your body doesn't do the learning it will need for the test, which is the race.
A little more than two years ago, I ran the best race of my recent past. I had been coaching the Flyers track program all spring, and in trying to set an example of effort in training, had been doing speed work on the track with them. I was also training heavily in order to prepare for a marathon. Prior to this race, most of my 5K's took me about 20:30 to run. On this day, I started my run, and tried to find that sweet spot of hard effort, without overtaxing myself. My first mile usually took about 6:25. I passed the clock at the first mile in about 6:05, and my reaction was, "That clock is wrong." The race didn't hurt enough for the pace the clock said I was running.
Since I felt OK, I figured I would keep running at that pace and hope that I didn't come apart. I got to the clock at mile 2, and instead of the 13:05 that I usually saw, I saw something like 12:45. I continued onward, working to keep my pace. When I got to the finish, I was spent, but no more so than in races at my usual pace. I finished the race in something like 19:36, having set a (recent) PR (personal record) for the distance by about 50 seconds.
After the race, the guys who usually finished right near me came up to me and asked me, "What happened to me today?" They raved about how well I had done. It felt really good. I didn't really know how to answer them, but afterwards, when I thought about it, I knew. In trying to set the right example for the kids in the track program, I had worked harder at running than I had since high school. I'd done my homework diligently. When it hurt, I didn't back down. I faced the pain, and when race day came, I raced better than ever, and with less pain than before.
Running isn't easy. Racing is harder still, but careful preparation makes racing well possible, and the result feels really good. As you continue to run, you must ask yourself if you are doing all your homework and doing it well.
Coach "Scooter"
Please let me know what you think about this. I'm especially interested in getting some feedback from women, but please comment regardless of sex.
A young girl on the team is having trouble racing, that may even be the wrong way to describe it. I've found out that that she came to the team because of self-confidence issues. She's a twin, and her sister is the dominant one. The result is that she seems to have a psyche that is brittle. It seems to take very little to rattle her confidence. Further adding to her problem is the fact that in attempting to be social, she often walks in practice, reducing her effective training and diminishing her prospects of running well in a race.
Her sister is apparently a pretty good athlete, so I think with training, she can be, too. The problem is that if she doesn't train well, she starts a cycle of greater discomfort in the race, racing badly, and loss of self-confidence as a result.
My thought is to send her a note by e-mail through her parents. I've had this OK'ed by her parents, and here's my note, as it stands now:
(her name),
You've gone through your first season of running. I hope you've enjoyed it. I've seen you laugh and cry, but hope that it was more fun than not. You've probably gotten some inkling what running competitively is about. I hope you continue to pursue your running with joy and passion.
Like school, running is very much about training. In school, to do well on tests, you must do your homework and pay attention in class. In running, training is like class. You are teaching your body to do what you ask of it. If you don't work hard at your training, doing the things that the coaches ask, then your body doesn't do the learning it will need for the test, which is the race.
A little more than two years ago, I ran the best race of my recent past. I had been coaching the Flyers track program all spring, and in trying to set an example of effort in training, had been doing speed work on the track with them. I was also training heavily in order to prepare for a marathon. Prior to this race, most of my 5K's took me about 20:30 to run. On this day, I started my run, and tried to find that sweet spot of hard effort, without overtaxing myself. My first mile usually took about 6:25. I passed the clock at the first mile in about 6:05, and my reaction was, "That clock is wrong." The race didn't hurt enough for the pace the clock said I was running.
Since I felt OK, I figured I would keep running at that pace and hope that I didn't come apart. I got to the clock at mile 2, and instead of the 13:05 that I usually saw, I saw something like 12:45. I continued onward, working to keep my pace. When I got to the finish, I was spent, but no more so than in races at my usual pace. I finished the race in something like 19:36, having set a (recent) PR (personal record) for the distance by about 50 seconds.
After the race, the guys who usually finished right near me came up to me and asked me, "What happened to me today?" They raved about how well I had done. It felt really good. I didn't really know how to answer them, but afterwards, when I thought about it, I knew. In trying to set the right example for the kids in the track program, I had worked harder at running than I had since high school. I'd done my homework diligently. When it hurt, I didn't back down. I faced the pain, and when race day came, I raced better than ever, and with less pain than before.
Running isn't easy. Racing is harder still, but careful preparation makes racing well possible, and the result feels really good. As you continue to run, you must ask yourself if you are doing all your homework and doing it well.
Coach "Scooter"
Please let me know what you think about this. I'm especially interested in getting some feedback from women, but please comment regardless of sex.
Labels: coaching
posted by Scooter at 10:00 PM
6 Comments:
Howdy! I also have self-confidence issues as well as negative talk during my training and races. You had recommended the book, "Running Within" to me last month in a about.com forum post and the book has helped me tremendously with imaging and running mantras. Maybe the book could help her too? You could always loan her your copy. Happy trails, Bruce
I too was on a school track team and I had promise but when I was supposed to do the homework, I wouldn't give it my best effort. I really wanted someone either to run with me or at least notice the effort I was putting in. I didn't realize then that running is an individual sport even if you are training or running with a team. You get out of it what you put into it. I think she needs a little individual encouragement or some extra help from the coach. Maybe give her one on one time next season even if only for 15 min. It might help her self esteem. But I also wonder if she wasn't pushed into this because her twin was doing it and she really doesn't want to do it. She might have the ability but not the want to do it. At this stage in her life the course has been set and it sounds like her twin has has front row too long. I never had a sister but I had older brothers who were twins and that dynamic is a tough one.
Deb,
Her sister is a soccer player. Part of the idea here was to give her an activity of her own, and get her out of the shadow of her sister. Of course, one of the things that brings with it is the loss of the company/safety net that your twin provides.
Hi Scooter,
You asked for our input, so here's mine. I think your letter is too nice. Why are you coddling someone who is probably only running/WALKING for social reasons? I tell my Pacers (ages 6-13) who are slacking, "This is a running club; if you want to walk, this is not the place for you." Tough love works. And, I must add ... a young girl is not interested in hearing the success stories of her coach - no matter how directly it pertains to her situation. Make your letter about HER - not you. See, I'm giving you some tough love right now :). I'm not saying give her an ultimatum, but tell her that you expect more from your athletes and that you believe she is capable of being a good runner. Short and sweet. It's her choice. Yes or no?
Mark Twain quote:
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great."
This is a difficult situation. I am a twin who ran in high school with my twin sister. We were both very evenly matched but I remember being jealous sometimes and I know that my twin has experienced the same feelings. We both wanted the other to succeed, but it was not always easy to be second. When you are a twin, EVERYONE compares you to your twin...the person who you love so much is pitted as your competition and that is something that takes work to live with. And time.
I agree with Joan that talking about your race won't be as affective in getting your point across. However, I'm not sure tough love works for everyone. It doesn't for me. It makes me resent the person who is being tough. When someone believes in me, and tells me so, and obviously cares about me, I want to succeed. I want to do my absolute best.
So, my advice is to forget about her being a twin. Look at this girl individually if you can, and let her know that you believe in her and that you KNOW that she does NOT need to walk. Believe in her and LET HER KNOW IT.
If she is there to be social, then maybe that's okay. If she gets down though about her perfomance, then she will need to realize that she has to choose. She can't have her cake and eat it too, so it is up to her to decide which is more important to her. She might need someone to point that out. She also might need to know that everyone has a bad race, or a bad running day now and then, and that it is okay. It really is.
Here is my two sense
I totally disagree with the tough love theory! I really like the letter. I am not a twin but the oldest of 6 and I know that they are always compared to me and HATE it. Teachers, coaches and friends constantly mix them up with me.
Tough love works in some situations but with this I dont know if it will. I know that I personally I would just shut down or give up.
And I also like the story, it shows that you are human. Congrats by the way.
Not everyone is going to succeed and Its good that your trying to help her, ultimately it is up to her though. Good luck with it.
Let us know how it goes.
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